33 лучших юмористических рассказа на английском / 33 Best Humorous Short Stories

“Hawley,” I said, “you always were a fast youth, but I never thought you would develop into this. I wonder you’re not out of breath after such a journey.”

�“Another point, my dear Austin, in favor of my mode of existence. We spooks have no breath to begin with. Consequently, to get out of it is no deprivation. But, I say,” he added, “whither are you bound?”

�“To Coney Island to see the sights,” I replied. “Won’t you join me?”

�“Not I,” he replied. “Coney Island is tame.

When I first joined the spectre band, it seemed to me that nothing could delight me more than an eternal round of gayety like that; but, Austin, I have changed. I have developed a good deal since you and I were parted at the grave.”

�“I should say you had,” I answered. “I doubt if many of your old friends would know you.”

�“You seem to have had difficulty in so doing yourself, Austin,” he replied, regretfully; “but see here, old chap, give up Coney Island, and spend the evening with me at the club.

You’ll have a good time, I can assure you.”

�“The club?” I said. “You don’t mean to say you visions have a club?”

�“I do indeed; the Ghost Club is the most flourishing association of choice spirits in the world. We have rooms in every city in creation; and the finest part of it is there are no dues to be paid. The membership list holds some of the finest names in history – Shakespeare, Milton, Chaucer, Napoleon Bonaparte, Caesar, George Washington, Mozart, Frederick the Great, Marc Antony – Cassius was black-balled on Caesar’s account – Galileo, Confucius.

”

�“You admit the Chinese, eh?” I queried.

�“Not always,” he replied. “But Con was such a good fellow they hadn’t the heart to keep him out; but you see, Austin, what a lot of fine fellows there are in it.”

�“Yes, it’s a magnificent list, and I should say they made a pretty interesting set of fellows to hear talk,” I put in.

�“Well, rather,” Hawley replied. “I wish you could have heard a debate between Shakespeare and Caesar on the resolution, �The Pen is mightier than the Sword;’ it was immense.”

�“I should think it might have been,” I said. “Which won?”

�“The sword party. They were the best fighters; though on the merits of the argument Shakespeare was ’way ahead.