Трое в лодке, не считая собаки / Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)

And then I repack and forget it, and I have to carry it to the railway station, wrapped up in my pocket handkerchief.

Of course, I could not find it. I took the things out of the suitcase. Of course, I found George’s and Harris’s eighteen times over, but I couldn’t find my own. Then I found it inside a boot. I repacked once more.

When I had finished, George asked if the soap was in. I said I didn’t care whether the soap was in or whether it wasn’t. But I found that I had packed my tobacco-pouch in it, and had to reopen it.

Harris said that he and George had better do the rest; and I agreed and sat down.

They began. I made no comment; I only watched. They started with breaking a cup. That was the first thing they did. Then Harris packed the strawberry jam on top of a tomato and squashed it, and they had to pick out [36 - pick out – вычерпывать] the tomato with a teaspoon.

And then it was George’s turn, and he trod on the butter. I didn’t say anything, but I sat on the edge of the table and watched them.

It irritated them. I felt that. It made them nervous and excited, and they stepped on things, and put things behind them, and then couldn’t find them when they wanted them. They packed the pies at the bottom, and put heavy things on top, and smashed the pies in.

They upset salt over everything. But the butter! They tried to put it in the kettle. It wouldn’t go in, and what was in wouldn’t come out. They scraped it out at last [37 - they scraped it out at last – наконец, они его выковыряли], and put it down on a chair, and Harris sat on it, and it stuck to him, and they went looking for it all over the room.

“I put it down on that chair,” said George, staring at the empty seat.

“So mysterious!” said Harris.

Then George got round at the back of Harris and saw it.

“Here it is all the time,” he exclaimed, indignantly.

And they got it off [38 - they got it off – они отскоблили его], and packed it in the tea-pot.

Montmorency came and sat down on things, just when they were wanted to be packed; and he was sure that Harris or George wanted to touch his cold, damp nose. He put his leg into the jam, and he fought the teaspoons, and he pretended that the lemons were rats, and killed three of them.

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