The Tales of Uncle Remus / Сказки дядюшки Римуса. Книга для чтения на английском языке

“No doubt about it. Getting barbecued is almost a blessing compared to being thrown in that briar patch on the other side of the road. If you got to go, go in a barbecue sauce. That’s what I always say. How much lemon juice and brown sugar you put in yours?”

When Brer Fox heard this, he had to do some more thinking, because he wanted the worst death possible for that rabbit. “Now that I thinks on it, it’s too hot to be standing over a hot fire. I think I’ll hang you.”

Brer Rabbit shuddered. “Hanging is a terrible way to die! Just terrible! But I thank you for being so considerate.

Hanging is better than being thrown in the briar patch.”

Brer Fox thought that over a minute. “Come to think of it, I can’t hang you, ’cause I didn’t bring my rope. I’ll drown you in the creek over yonder.”

Brer Rabbit sniffed like he was about to cry. “No, no, Brer Fox. You know I can’t stand water, but I guess drowning, awful as it is, is better than the briar patch.”

“I got it!” Brer Fox exclaimed.

“I don’t feel like dragging you all the way down to the creek. I got my knife right here. I’m going to skin you!” He pulled out his knife.

Brer Rabbit’s ears shivered. “That’s all right, Brer Fox. It’ll hurt something awful, but go ahead and skin me. Scratch out my eyeballs! Tear out my ears by the roots! Cut off my legs! Do whatnsoever[32 - what’nsoever – (уст.) что угодно] you want to with me, Brer Fox, but please, please, please! Don’t throw me in that briar patch!”

Brer Fox was convinced now that the worst thing he could do to Brer Rabbit was the very thing Brer Rabbit didn’t want him to do.

He snatched him off the Tar Baby and wound up his arm like he was trying to throw a fastball past Hank Aaron[33 - Hank Aaron – Хэнк Аарон, знаменитый американский бейсболист второй половины XX в.] and chunked that rabbit across the road and smack dab in the middle of the briar patch.

Brer Fox waited. Didn’t hear a thing. He waited a little longer. Still no sound. And just about the time he decided he was rid of Brer Rabbit, just about the time a big grin started to spread across his face, he heard a little giggle.

“Tee-hee! Tee-hee!” And the giggles broke into the loudest laughing you’ve ever heard.

Brer Fox looked up to see Brer Rabbit sitting on top of the hill on the other side of the briar patch.