Натали: искусство жить

Still have no internet at home, missing my friends. Thanks God don’t miss you anymore. Don’t even know how it happened and what does it really mean. Today wrote to you: «We lost connection, Adnan, so I don’t worry about anything anymore» and you immediately answered me: «right». So my desire to stop for a while or to stop completely comes true. Just we will see. I think there is going to be something…

That’s why I think we had all this time before, we were together, and we outlived many different events together.

So now we will see. Or we lost our connection completely (and the thought doesn’t give me such pain as before), or it will continue in some new way, as I think and want to believe.

However I know: my silence, comfort and peace is not forever. I can enjoy it as long as you stay in peace. As soon as you start to worry, I’ll feel the same. And I think you know it as well. So we will see…

But thanks God for everything! This prayer yesterday in Dom cathedral helped me a lot! Oh, my Lord, my dear dear Lord, my the only true love, thank YOU!!!

Interesting when I lived in Tallinn I also wanted enjoy the same way of life in a big beautiful ancient city, but felt tired and sad.

And now I feel myself as I wanted to feel that time…

Now sometimes I imagine how we live here somewhere together, as we are preparing breakfast, as we love and enjoy each other after all these difficult lonely years… see, may be one day I’ll show you this letter and you will smile to me.

You also want the baby, Adi! Say no! :)

8.10.201*

Hi!

SITTING at hairdresser-room with Nelly, then we will go together to Mary like always, here only two exceptions: Wednesday and Sunday. It can feel like boring to some other person, but suits perfectly to me.

Hope I will have i-net connection at last. But in general my notebook works rather slowly. May be just not too much power or some extra-programs I really don’t need and don’t use. Vladimir probably can help.

Yesterday evening I walked late, but was interesting to watch night life of the city, so I’d like to find some friends here – for helping with language. Interesting did you write something to me or not? Soon I’ll know. But night was SO hard. And I still don?t know do you have some relation to this or it?s just my problem. In any case I?d like to escape. Yesterday you agreed so easily. The question is: why? But of course you won’t tell me.