The Twelve Chairs / Двенадцать стульев. Книга для чтения на английском языке

В«SplendidВ», he said, narrowing his eyes. В«You haven't come from Paris. You've no doubt come from Kologriv to visit your deceased grandmotherВ».

As he spoke, he tenderly embraced the caretaker and pushed him outside the door before the old man had time to realize what was happening. When he finally gathered his wits, all he knew was that his master had come back from Paris, that he himself had been pushed out of his own room, and that he was clutching a rouble note in his left hand.

Carefully locking the door, Bender turned to Vorobyaninov, who was still standing in the middle of the room, and said:

В«Take it easy, everything's all right! My name's Bender.

You may have heard of me!В»

В«No, I haven'tВ», said Ippolit Matveyevich nervously.

В«No, how could the name of Ostap Bender be known in Paris? Is it warm there just now? It's a nice city. I have a married cousin there. She recently sent me a silk handkerchief by registered postВ».

В«What rubbish is this?В» exclaimed Ippolit Matveyevich.

«What handkerchief? I haven't come from Paris at all. I've come from …»

В«Marvellous! You've come from Morshansk!В»

Ippolit Matveyevich had never had dealings with so spirited a young man as Ostap Bender and began to feel peculiar.

В«Well, I'm going nowВ», he said.

В«Where are you going? You don't need to hurry anywhere. The secret police will come for you, anywayВ». Ippolit Matveyevich was speechless. He undid his coat with its threadbare velvet collar and sat down on the bench, glaring at Bender.

В«I don't know what you meanВ», he said in a low voice.

В«That's no harm. You soon will. Just one momentВ».

Ostap put on his orange-coloured boots and walked up and down the room.

В«Which frontier did you cross? Was it the Polish, Finnish, or Rumanian frontier? An expensive pleasure, I imagine. A friend of mine recently crossed the frontier. He lives in Slavuta, on our side, and his wife's parents live on the other. He had a row with his wife over a family matter; she comes from a temperamental family.

She spat in his face and ran across the frontier to her parents. The fellow sat around for a few days but found things weren't going well. There was no dinner and the room was dirty, so he decided to make it up with her. He waited till night and then crossed over to his mother-in-law. But the frontier guards nabbed him, trumped up a charge, and gave him six months. Later on he was expelled from the trade union.