The Twelve Chairs / Двенадцать стульев. Книга для чтения на английском языке

A Diamond Haze

Ippolit Matveyevich took off his stained beaver hat, combed his moustache, which gave off a shower of sparks at the touch of the comb, and, having cleared his throat in determination, told Ostap Bender, the first rogue who had come his way, what his dying mother-in-law had told him about her jewels.

During the account, Ostap jumped up several times and, turning to the iron stove, said delightedly:

В«Things are moving, gentlemen of the jury. Things are movingВ».

An hour later they were both sitting at the rickety table, their heads close together, reading the long list of jewellery which had at one time adorned the fingers, neck, ears, bosom and hair of Vorobyaninov's mother-in-law.

Ippolit Matveyevich adjusted the pince-nez, which kept falling off his nose, and said emphatically:

«Three strings of pearls…. Yes, I remember them. Two with forty pearls and the long one had a hundred and ten. A diamond pendant … Claudia Ivanovna used to say it was worth four thousand roubles; an antique».

Next came the rings: not thick, silly, and cheap engagement rings, but fine, lightweight rings set with pure, polished diamonds; heavy, dazzling earrings that bathe a small female ear in multicoloured light; bracelets shaped like serpents, with emerald scales; a clasp bought with the profit from a fourteen-hundred-acre harvest; a pearl necklace that could only be worn by a famous prima donna; to crown everything was a diadem worth forty thousand roubles.

Ippolit Matveyevich looked round him.

A grass-green emerald light blazed up and shimmered in the dark corners of the caretaker's dirty room. A diamond haze hung near the ceiling. Pearls rolled across the table and bounced along the floor. The room swayed in the mirage of gems. The sound of Ostap's voice brought the excited Ippolit Matveyevich back to earth.

В«Not a bad choice. The stones have been tastefully selected, I see. How much did all this jazz cost?В»

В«Seventy to seventy-five thousandВ».

«Hm … Then it's worth a hundred and fifty thousand now».

В«Really as much as that?В» asked Ippolit Matveyevich jubilantly.

В«Not less than that. However, if I were you, dear friend from Paris, I wouldn't give a damn about itВ».

В«What do you mean, not give a damn?В»

В«Just that. Like they used to before the advent of historical materialismВ».

В«Why?В»

В«I'll tell you. How many chairs were there?В»

В«A dozen. It was a drawing-room suiteВ».