33 лучших юмористических рассказа на английском / 33 Best Humorous Short Stories

As it neared me, I recognized the features of Mr. Rawjester. He held his hand to his side as if in pain. I saw that he had been wounded. He recognized me and called me by name, but at the same moment the vision changed to an Ashantee village, where, around the fire, a group of negroes were dancing and participating in some wild Obi festival. I awoke with the strain still ringing in my ears.

�Hokee-pokee wokee fum!’

Good Heavens! could I be dreaming? I heard the voice distinctly on the floor below, and smelt something burning.

I arose, with an indistinct presentiment of evil, and hastily putting some cotton in my ears and tying a towel about my head, I wrapped myself in a shawl and rushed down stairs. The door of Mr. Rawjester’s room was open. I entered.

Mr. Rawjester lay apparently in a deep slumber, from which even the clouds of smoke that came from the burning curtains of his bed could not rouse him. Around the room a large and powerful negress, scantily attired, with her head adorned with feathers, was dancing wildly, accompanying herself with bone castanets.

It looked like some terrible fetich.

I did not lose my calmness. After firmly emptying the pitcher, basin, and slop-jar on the burning bed, I proceeded cautiously to the garden, and, returning with the garden-engine, I directed a small stream at Mr. Rawjester.

At my entrance the gigantic negress fled. Mr. Rawjester yawned and woke. I explained to him, as he rose dripping from the bed, the reason of my presence.

He did not seem to be excited, alarmed, or discomposed. He gazed at me curiously.

�So you risked your life to save mine, eh? you canary-colored teacher of infants.’

I blushed modestly, and drew my shawl tightly over my yellow flannel nightgown.

�You love me, Mary Jane, – don’t deny it! This trembling shows it!’ He drew me closely toward him, and said, with his deep voice tenderly modulated: —

�How’s her pooty tootens, – did she get her �ittle tootens wet, – bess her?’

I understood his allusion to my feet.

I glanced down and saw that in my hurry I had put on a pair of his old india-rubbers. My feet were not small or pretty, and the addition did not add to their beauty.

�Let me go, sir,’ I remarked quietly. �This is entirely improper; it sets a bad example for your child.’ And I firmly but gently extricated myself from his grasp. I approached the door. He seemed for a moment buried in deep thought.