33 лучших юмористических рассказа на английском / 33 Best Humorous Short Stories

�The only time I ever rode on a horse-car with you to my knowledge was—’

�I know; this was the occasion,’ interrupted Mrs. Barrows. �You sat in a corner at the rear end of the car when I entered, and I was very much put out with you because it remained for a stranger, whom I had often seen and to whom I had, for reasons unknown even to myself, taken a deep aversion, to offer me his seat, and, what is more, compel me to take it.’

�I don’t understand,’ said Willis. �We were alone on the car.

’

�To your eyes we were, although at the time I did not know it. To my eyes when I boarded it the car was occupied by enough people to fill all the seats. You returned my bow as I entered, but did not offer me your seat. The stranger did, and while I tried to decline it, I was unable to do so. He was a man of about my own age, and he had a most remarkable pair of eyes. There was no resisting them. His offer was a command; and as I rode along and thought of your sitting motionless at the end of the car, compelling me to stand, and being indirectly responsible for my acceptance of courtesies from a total and disagreeable stranger, I became so very indignant with you that I passed you without recognition as soon as I could summon up courage to leave.

I could not understand why you, who had seemed to me to be the soul of politeness, should upon this occasion have failed to do not what I should exact from any man, but what I had reason to expect of you. ’

�But, Mrs. Barrows,’ remonstrated Willis, �why should I give up a seat to a lady when there were twenty other seats unoccupied on the same car?’

�There is no reason in the world why you should,’ replied Mrs. Barrows. �But it was not until last winter that I discovered the trick that had been put upon us.’

�Ah?’ said Willis. �Trick?’

�Yes,’ said Mrs. Barrows. �It was a trick. The car was empty to your eyes, but crowded to mine with the astral bodies of the members of the Boston Theosophical Society.

’

�Wha-a-at?’ roared Willis.

�It is just as I have said,’ replied Mrs. Barrows, with a silvery laugh. �They are all great friends of my husband’s, and one night last winter he dined them at our house, and who do you suppose walked in first?’

�Madame Blavatsky’s ghost?’ suggested Willis, with a grin.

�Not quite,’ returned Mrs. Barrows.