Romeo and Juliet / Ромео и Джульетта

By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore. Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O their bones, their bones!

Enter Romeo.

Benvolio

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio

Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in.

Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench, – marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio

The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?

Romeo

Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio

That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Romeo

Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo

A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo

Pink for flower.

Mercutio

Right.

Romeo

Why, then is my pump well flowered.

Mercutio

Sure wit, follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo

O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio

Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.

Romeo

Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or I’ll cry a match.

Mercutio

Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done.

For thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?

Romeo

Thou wast never with me for anything, when thou wast not there for the goose.

Mercutio

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

Romeo

Nay, good goose, bite not.

Mercutio

Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.