Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

“Or”—she seemed to brighten—“shall we pour water on him from the staircase window?”

I started.

“Don’t dream of it!” I whispered urgently.

I mean to say, dry J. Washburn Stoker was bad enough. But wet J. Washburn Stoker was even worse.

“I’ll have to see him,” I said.

“Well, be careful.”

“How do you mean, careful?”

“Oh, just careful. Still, of course, he may not have a gun.”

“Well, dash it,” I said, “I shall have to go down and talk to him.

That door will be splitting asunder soon.”

“Don’t get close to him.”

“I won’t.”

“He was a great wrestler when he was a young man.”

“You needn’t tell me any more about your father.”

“Is there anywhere I can hide?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know why not,” I replied. “They don’t build these country cottages with secret rooms and underground passages. When you hear me open the front door, stop breathing.”

“Do you want me to suffocate?”

I did not reply and hurried down the stairs and flung open the front door.

Well, when I say “flung”, I opened it a matter of six inches.

“Hallo?” I said. “Yes?”

“Oy!” said a voice. “What’s the matter with you, young man? Deaf or something?”

It wasn’t the voice of J. Washburn Stoker.

“Frightfully sorry,” I said. “I was thinking of this and that. Sort of reverie, if you know what I mean.”

The voice spoke again.

“Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. I thought you was the young man Brinkley.”

“Brinkley’s out,” I said, “Who are you?”

“Sergeant Voules, sir.”

I opened the door. It was pretty dark outside, but I could recognize the arm of the Law.

“Ah, Sergeant!” I said. “Anything I can do for you, Sergeant?”

My eyes were getting accustomed to the darkness by this time, and I was enabled to see another policeman. Tall and lean, this one.

“This is my young nephew, sir.

Constable Dobson[61 - Dobson – Добсон].”

“Ah, Dobson!” I said.

“Are you aware, sir, that there’s a window broke at the back of your residence? My young nephew here saw it and thought best to wake me up and have me investigate. A ground-floor window, sir.”

“Oh, that? Yes, Brinkley did that yesterday. Silly ass!”

“You knew about it, then, sir?”

“Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Quite all right, Sergeant.