Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

And the thought of it depressed me to such an extent that I felt there was only one thing to be done. I went straight back to my room, took out the cummerbund, and draped it round myself. I turned round and saw Jeeves.

“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said. “You are surely not proposing to appear in public in that thing?”

“The cummerbund?” I said in a careless way. “Oh, yes!”

“I should not advise it, sir, really I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“The effect, sir, is unpredictable.”

I looked at him.

I mean to say, nobody knows better than I do that Jeeves is a master mind and all that, but, damn it, a fellow must call his soul his own. You can’t be a slave to your valet. Besides, I was feeling pretty low and the cummerbund was the only thing which could cheer me up.

“You know, the trouble with you, Jeeves,” I said, “is that you’re too—what’s the word I want?—too isolated. You can’t realize that you aren’t in Piccadilly[63 - Piccadilly – Пикадилли] all the time.

In a place like this something colourful and poetic is expected of you. Why, I’ve just seen a fellow downstairs in a suit of yellow velvet.”

“Nevertheless, sir—”

“Jeeves,” I said firmly, “my mind is made up. I am feeling a little low-spirited[64 - low-spirited – в плохом настроении] and need cheering. Besides, what’s wrong with it? This cummerbund seems to me to be quite right. I consider that it has rather a Spanish effect.

The old hidalgo and the bull fight.”

“Very good, sir[65 - Very good, sir. – Слушаюсь, сэр.],” said Jeeves coldly.

If there’s one thing that upsets me, it’s unpleasantness in the home. Aunt Agatha, the Hemmingway girl … I felt though nobody loved me.

The drive that afternoon was boring as I had expected. The curate fellow prattled on of this and that; the girl admired the view; and I got a headache. I went back to my room to dress for dinner, feeling like a toad under the harrow.

I tried to talk to Jeeves.

“I say, Jeeves,” I said.

“Sir?”

“Mix me some brandy and soda.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Jeeves, not too much soda.”

“Very good, sir.”

After it, I felt better.

“Jeeves,” I said.

“Sir?”

“I think I’m in a big trouble, Jeeves.”

“Indeed, sir?”

I looked at him. He still remembers the cummerbund.

“Yes,” I said, suppressing the pride of the Woosters.