Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

Are you aware that a certain Bulgarian, Elia Gospodinoff[27 - Elia Gospodinoff – Элья Господинофф], once played the bagpipes for twenty-four hours without a stop?”

“Indeed, sir?”

“Well, do you suppose Gospodinoff’s personal attendant went away? A laughable idea. Be Bulgarian, Jeeves.”

“No, sir. I fear I cannot.”

“Are you serious, Jeeves?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you are resolved?”

“Yes, sir. If it is really your intention to continue playing that instrument, I have no option but to leave.

”

The Wooster blood boiled over. This blighter thinks he is domestic Mussolini[28 - Mussolini – Муссолини]. But what is Jeeves, after all? A valet. A salaried servant!

“Then, Jeeves, leave, dash it![29 - dash it! – чёрт побери!]”

“Very good, sir.”

2

Chuffy

I assembled the stick, the hat, and the lemon-coloured gloves and strode out into the streets of London.

Though I was afraid what existence would be like without Jeeves, I had no thought of weakening. As I turned the corner into Piccadilly[30 - Piccadilly – Пикадилли], I observed a familiar form.

This familiar form was none other than that of my boyhood friend, the fifth Baron Chuffnell[31 - Baron Chuffnell – барон Чаффнелл] —the chap, if you remember, whose Aunt Myrtle I had seen the previous night with the hellhound, Glossop.

The sight of him reminded me that I was looking for a country cottage and that here was the very chap who had one.

I wonder if I have ever told you about Chuffy? Stop me if I have. He’s a fellow I’ve known more or less all my life, he and myself having been at private school, Eton and Oxford[32 - Eton and Oxford – Р?тон и Оксфорд] together.

Now he spends most of his time down at Chuffnell Regis[33 - Chuffnell Regis – Чаффнел-Реджис], where he owns an enormous great place with about a hundred and fifty rooms and miles of parkland.

Don’t think, however, that Chuffy is one of my wealthier friends. He can’t afford to live anywhere else. If somebody came to him and offered to buy the place, he would kiss him on both cheeks.