The Code of the Woosters / Фамильная честь Вустеров

But what did she offer? We are familiar with Wooster, the supposed bag-snatcher. But this aunt is going to present to the world a Wooster who goes to the houses of retired magistrates and, while eating their bread and salt, steals their cow-creamers. Oh!”

“Most disturbing, sir.”

“I wonder how old Bassett will receive me, Jeeves.”

“It will be interesting to observe his reactions, sir.”

“He can’t throw me out, I suppose, Miss Bassett having invited me?”

“No sir”.

“On the other hand, he can—and I think he will—look at me over the top of his pince-nez and make terrible noises.

The prospect is not an agreeable one.”

“No, sir.”

“I mean to say, even if this cow-creamer thing had not come up, conditions would be terrible.”

“Yes, sir. Might I enquire how are you going to carry out Mrs Travers’s wishes?”

“That is the problem which is torturing me, Jeeves. I can’t make up my mind. When I think of being barred from those menus of Anatole’s, I say to myself that I will fulfill the task.

Old Bassett is firmly convinced that I am a combination of a swindler and a thief and steal everything I see.”

“Sir?”

“Didn’t I tell you about that? I had another encounter with him yesterday. He now looks upon me as the king of the criminal world—if not Public Enemy[54 - Public Enemy – враг рода человеческого] Number One, certainly Number Two or Three.”

I informed him briefly of what had occurred.

Jeeves does not often smile, but now a distinct simper had begun to wreathe his lips.

“A laughable misunderstanding, sir.”

“Laughable, Jeeves?”

“I beg your pardon, sir. I should have said �disturbing’.”

“Quite. But even if I want to steal cow-creamers, how am I going to find the time? You have to plan and plot and lay schemes. And I shall think about this business of Gussie’s.”

“Exactly, sir.”

“And, as if that wasn’t enough to have on my mind, there is that telegram of Stiffy’s.

You remember the third telegram that came this morning. It was from Miss Stephanie Byng, Miss Bassett’s cousin, who resides at Totleigh Towers. You’ve met her. She came to lunch at the flat a week or two ago. A very small girl.”

“Oh, yes, sir. I remember Miss Byng. A charming young lady.”

“Maybe. But what does she want me to do for her? That’s the question. Probably something completely unfit for me.