Этот неподражаемый Дживс! / The Inimitable Jeeves

But what surprised me is the way you’ve unjustly abused this poor man here and tried to give his hotel a bad name!”

“Yes, by damn! It’s too bad!” cried the whiskered marvel. “You careless old woman! You give my hotel a bad name! Tomorrow you will leave my hotel!”

And presently having said this, he withdrew, taking the chambermaid with him, the latter with a ten pound note. The manager got his ten as well.

I turned to Aunt Agatha.

“I don’t want continue the conversation, Aunt Agatha,” I said coldly, “but I should just like to point out before I go that the girl who stole your pearls is the girl you’ve been forcing me to marry ever since I got here.

Good heavens! A good wife, eh? Do you realize that if I had children they would steal my watch while they were sitting on my knees? I’m not complaining, but I must say that another time you might be more careful choosing the girls for me to marry.”

I gave her one look, turned on my heel and left the room.

“Ten o’clock, a clear night, and all’s well, Jeeves,’ I said, coming back into the good old suite.

“I am gratified to hear it, sir.’

“If twenty pounds would be any use to you, Jeeves—”

“I am much obliged, sir.’

There was a pause. And then—well, I did it. I took the cummerbund and handed it over.

“Do you wish me to press this, sir?”

I looked at the cummerbund. It had been very dear to me.

“No,” I said, “take it away; give it to the poor—I shall never wear it again.

”

“Thank you very much, sir,” said Jeeves.

5

The Pride of the Woosters is Wounded

If there’s one thing I like, it’s a quiet life. I’m not one of those fellows who feel restless and depressed if things aren’t happening to them all the time. Give me regular meals, a good show with decent music now and then, and one or two friends to talk to, and I ask no more.

I’d returned from Roville with a sort of feeling that from now on nothing could upset me.

Aunt Agatha, I imagined, would require at least a year to recover from the Hemmingway affair: and apart from Aunt Agatha there isn’t anybody who really annoys me. It seemed to me that the skies were blue, so to speak, and no clouds in sight.

But … Well, look here, what happened was this, and I ask you if it wasn’t enough to rattle anybody.

Once a year Jeeves takes a couple of weeks’ vacation and goes to the sea or somewhere to restore his forces.